Good Enough
by KOI Seracus
Summary: Ken's having conversations with accusing voices. (I know. That sucks.) Not my first fanfic, but the first one posted. Please be nice. Please?
1. Looking Out

Hi people! Okay, so I finally have something posted. It's my first one up here, so please be nice to me. Actually, forget that. Just be honest. I can handle it. …I hope. Either way, thanks for reading this. Here it is. Me and my crap!

**You never were good enough to be one of them.**

"Shut up."

You know it's true. You're not like them. They're pure. You're tainted. They could never accept you.

Ken shook his head angrily. "Shut up!"

**I can't,** the voice replied. **I can't shut up. I've been quiet for so long. Do you know how much of a relief it is to have a voice again? I really missed it. Not being able to talk with you…**

"To lie to me, you mean."

Not true. You're the only one who lies to you. You and that Child of Courage and Friendship. You both believe you're something better than you really are.

"Davis thinks I'm something better than what I am," Ken argued. "I just know what I'm not. I've done horrible things, but I'm not as bad as you want me to believe."

**But you are. You're even worse than what I'm telling you. **Before Ken could say anything, the voice continued, **How would you know otherwise? How much do you actually remember? You don't even know all of what you did, so don't try to argue with me over whether or not you're an abhorrent monster.**

"You're right, I don't remember everything I've done. But that doesn't matter. What I did in the past doesn't change the fact that I'm not that person anymore."

On the inside you are. Just admit it. In your heart, you still haven't stopped being the Digimon Emperor. You even dream about it.

Ken winced at the accusation. He did still see himself as the Emperor, but only in his nightmares.

How do you know they're nightmares? Just like everything else, you can't even remember those. For all you know, the only reason you wake up in fear is because you were defeated. Again.

"That is possibly one of the most absurd things I have ever heard," Ken muttered, glancing back over the area around him. He was alone on the beach, with only the voice in his head for company. He wasn't sure if he would have preferred being completely alone. The voice was nowhere near good company, but the being alone again in this particular place would surely drive him mad.

Regardless, the voice announced suddenly, returning to the initial conversation, you're still not good enough. You never were, and you never will be. You're tainted, they're pure, and you'd destroy their group. End of story. With that, the voice was gone.

Ken sighed and turned his eyes to the black waters of the ocean. The waves gently lapped at the sand, slowly pulling away the beach. A little more with each passing wave. The wind had died down again, but the waves were still coming, still working their careful destruction. Given enough time, the waters would eventually wear away the entire shoreline. They'd move on to the rocks jutting out of the sand, ultimately eating away the entire island.

Ken stepped closer to the ocean, stopping just out of the water's reach, and watched as tiny grains of sand were carried away.

He was completely alone in the world. The voice had finally left him. He hadn't doubted that it would, it always did, eventually. It would come when he was alone and bombard him with accusations of everything he had ever done wrong. Then, after it had covered the multitude of his sins, it would vanish, leaving him to his thoughts.

_You can't say he's entirely wrong,_ the boy mused. _I know I'm not the Digimon Emperor, and I never want to become that person again. _But the voice had been right about him being tainted. None of the other digidestined had ever done anything that could even come close to measuring up to what he had done. None of them had ever been as cruel, or caused as much pain as he had. None of them had killed just for the sake of killing. None of them had given in to the darkness inside of them. It was quite likely that none of them even had any darkness inside themselves.

The wind was back, and it had blown the waves into a furry. A storm was coming, but Ken didn't move to escape it. There was no point. He had no where to go, not on this island. Instead, he simply watched the waves come up and grab at his ankles, trying to pull him into the ocean. The wind tried to help, blowing at him from all sides, trying to force him into the dark waters, and he offered little resistance. Within seconds, the boy was knee deep in the beckoning black, and moving forward.

Well, how was it? You like? You hate? Should I just give up now? Read & Review. I finally get to say that!

Oh yeah. One more thing. HI!!!! THANKS FOR READING!!! (I feel so corny.)__


	2. Run

Disclaimer: I still don't own Digimon. Phooey!

AN: Hey, look! I didn't think I would continue this (it worked rather well as a one-shot), but I am! I actually wrote another chapter. It may be crap, but I don't care right now. I'm too thrilled that I actually managed to write anything!!!

ahem Read.

The wind was back, and it had blown the waves into a furry. A storm was coming, but Ken didn't move to escape it. There was no point. He had no where to go, not on this island. Instead, he simply watched the waves come up and grab at his ankles, trying to pull him into the ocean. The wind tried to help, blowing at him from all sides, trying to force him into the dark waters, and he offered little resistance. Within seconds, the boy was knee deep in the beckoning black, and moving forward.

"Wake up!"

Ken bolted upright, a stab of pain shooting through his head as he did. Around him, he heard various gasps and shout of surprise, and he brain gradually processed the individual voices of the digidestined. With that realization came the instantaneous order: _flee!_ Without even opening his eyes he could pinpoint their exact location around him. Light was standing a few paces to his left, likely with her hands over her mouth to muffle her surprise. Directly beside her was Hope, probably glaring at him. Love was crouched – not sitting, for sure – to his right, just out of arms reach. Courage was behind him, kneeling and leaning forward, judging from how loud his voice had rung in the genius' ears.

Four digidestined. That left…

Knowledge.

The youngest of the digidestined was standing in front of him. Likely, he'd been kneeling before Ken woke up and startled him. He'd been the one, Ken knew, that had shaken him and yelled for him to awaken. And he would be the first to pounce if the prodigy made any false moves.

Ken reluctantly forced his eyes open, ignoring the sunlight that blazed down on his face. There would be no fleeing. There never had been, nor would there ever be such an opportunity for him. Not from the darkness, not from the press, and certainly not from the digidestined.  Not with Knowledge, Love, and Courage all in position to hold him.

Cody's voice caught his attention before his mind could delve into the 'What if?'s of the situation. "What are you doing here?"

"What?" The indigo haired youth took a second to notice the group's surroundings. Hugely oversized, multicolored, soft-looking playing blocks rose up around them. The ground itself was constructed of large tiles made of some sort of plushy yet rather firm material. Glancing behind Light and Hope, Ken could make out small mounds, some of them colorful and others slightly larger and simply brown in color. The boy felt his breath catch as he recognized the place. It was the source of the worst nightmares.

The instinct to flee came back stronger than he could remember ever having felt it as he stared at Primary Village.

There'd be no point in that, now would there?

Ken flinched. _Please, not now,_ he begged silently, already aware that the digidestined were becoming impatient waiting for an explanation from him.__

You'd have nowhere to go.__

_Leave me alone._

"Emperor," Cody called, gaining the older boy's focus again. "Are you planning on ignoring me? What are you doing here?"

What are you doing here?

An angry glare quickly settled in on Ken's face. _Oh, shut up! You know perfectly well I didn't come here on my own._

What's wrong? the voice asked innocently. Why aren't you answering me, Kenny-boy? Can you even hear me?

_Don't you dare… _Ken pulled out of his silent conversation fast enough to dodge a hand that came swinging at him from his right. jerking his head in that direction, he watched the Child of Love sit back on her heels and scowl at him. "What…?"

"Just because you're mad at us doesn't entitle you to be rude to him," the girl declared, sounding every bit furious, and Ken had to fight the desire to shrink away from her. "He just asked you a simple question that you obviously have no answer to, which is fine. The fact is, Ken Ichijouji, that you have no business here."

Kenny-boy! the voice called, suddenly loud enough to make Ken wince in pain. Then slightly louder, it added. You're not good enough!

_Shut up!_

"You have no right to be here."

You're tainted!

_Stop!_

"No one wants you here, so get out!"

You're an abhorrent monster! You always have been and you always will be! Nothing will ever change what you are! You're scum. You're filth! You will never be good enough!

"Stop it!" Ken cried, pulling his legs up to his chest and grabbing his head in his hands in sudden agony. Pain ripped through him and spots danced across his vision as the voice continued to shout at him, louder and louder than he'd ever heard it.

Around him, he wasn't aware of the digidestined pulling back in shock. Even Davis scampered away from the former Digimon Emperor, opting to craw in a circle around him to stand with Yolie and Cody. TK and Kari stayed where they were, a safe distance away from Ken. Hawkmon, Armadillomon, Veemon, Gatomon, and Patamon took up defensive positions in front of their respective partners, but even they were slightly frightened by the boy's sudden outburst.

Completely oblivious to their fear, Ken began to shake as the pain in his head got worse and the voice became louder still. Tears began to sting at the back of his eyes, and he didn't try to suppress them. "Stop it," he begged, unaware that he was even talking. "Stop it. Get out of my head. Please!"

AN: smiles head off I'm happy. ^_^ Are you happy? Are you satisfied with this chapter (as in "was it good?", not "that's all I'ma do")? Do you like my attempt at Ken torment? …I do. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! still grinning head off

ahem Review.

\/    See that arrow? That's where you review. Click it.  ^_^ Bye-bye!!!


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